When I come back I want to come back as (well, I have thought about this quite a lot lately what with death being on my mind every day since last June) a man. Why? Because being a woman is hard to do on a daily basis. And I'm talking the menial little crappy things like hair removal. I come from hairy Mediterranean stock. I have been plucking my eyebrows since I was first 'allowed' at age 13 or so. And then there's the ever present facial hair that likes to adorn the top lip. Gotta love that stuff. I have seen women here, in the US, who rock the moustache look. I just don't want to be one of those out and proud hairy lipped women. Lately I have also spotted a whisker or two on my chin. WTH? It's not bad enough having hair all over the top lip and and wannabe unibrow? Lovely. So they get plucked and everything else gets waxed and/or plucked. Then there's the 'hair down there' that I remove every other day and let's not forget the leg hair and the armpit hair - I am NOT that Mediterranean.
Additionally, I workout a lot but I don't have testosterone so it's kind of hard to put in all the hours and not see fabulous results. I have super muscle mass but not huge muscle mass. I will not take supplements to enhance (I know I am taking enough health risks already. I don't need to add that little crack at stupidity too.) my workouts so that would be easier if I was a man. Then there's the height thing. I'd like to be taller next time around. Yes, oh I am sooooo cute at 5' air. But you gain a lb at this height and you may as well have gained 20. And you gain 20lbs and you may as well rename yourself Orca. I'd like to me taller. I'd also like to not have to carry around 2 watermelons on my chest wall.... I realize some men have moobs but I'd work my damnedest not to have moobs. I am proud to say that I have gone down considerably on the boob sizes. This was emphasized to me when Holly and I were looking at old photos earlier. When I used to say that each breast was larger than Oliver's head when I was breastfeeding him (another thing men don't have/get to do but, hey, many women don't either) I wasn't kidding.
I'd also like to not have periods, PMS, etc. I'd also not like to think of all the thrills of menopause. Now, there's something to look forward to. Hmmmm. Excited about that one. And then we can worry about osteoporosis. Ha ha ha. Can't wait.
So I'd like to come back as a man. I'd be playing with myself all day long. I'm curious that way :o) I'd also like to be a gay man when I come back. Why? Because I'd like to have options. I like men. I like women too but I really like men. So, though I would like to come back as a man and not a woman, I'd like to come back as a man who likes men. I want to be the 'stereotypical' gay man who likes to look after his looks and spend hours and hours working out (wow, that's so different from my days now LOL). And the only grooming I would do would be my ... well, down there LOL And, God forbid, I'd do my back hair if I had that crap. Down there would be permanently removed. All over removal. No hair for this gal... or guy. And then there's a whole lot of other stuff I'd like to say but I think I'll refrain. Because then I'd come off as a pervert and someone might read this shit one day and realize I'm a pervert and I am so refrained and polite that I hide it well (most of the time... unless I've been drinking... which I don't do these days. So, to quote Eliza Dolittle: "I'm a good girl, I am"). I will say this - I will be versatile. ;)
So, yes, I'll come back as a tall, leaning to muscular, lacking in back hair (and hair down there and, please, no more unibrow!) man next. Are we good?
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